What? I know I've left this for more than a year. I've told you how I have this ADD...
Nah, I'm just lazy. Lazy to write. Lazy to find something to be grateful of. Lazy to be living, actually. Honest, I think I'm just surviving at this moment. I've quit my job last year, and it's nearly a year that I'm out of job. Mostly because I think I'll just crash and burn if I ACTUALLY get a job, which is stupid, or more precisely, retarded.
I've lost passion on a lot of things. Drawing, playing video games, and so... every day I'm just here, wasting air. I keep remembering the captain in Pixar's movie Wall-E, "I don't want to survive. I want to LIVE." I do, I do want to live.
I don't know how to do it, though. Maybe not being able to find something to be grateful of is one of the reasons why I'm stumped.
I used to be proud of myself for having vast imagination. That I could create a complete story in my head just on a whim. But the sheer laziness of mine actually hinders the process of making it real. I'm not proud of my laziness, not proud of my procrastination.
Most of all, I hate this fear. Fear leads to reluctance, reluctance leads to laziness, laziness leads to dullness. And while I understand the logic, I don't really know how to do the practical side of it.
So... what am I grateful of?
I guess I'm grateful of my imagination. Now if I could only knock myself and actually do something about it... it would be so grand, I tell you.
Anyway, I've decided to make this a Day 6, since I felt like I've cheated on my last entry.
